Blogs
Idol Season 9 Finale Post-Game Analysis: It's a VFTW Shocker!
Top 2- Going Higher and Deeper Into the Worst Idol Song Ever Written. Good Job, Kara!
I do think that this is going to be a photo finish finale. Before the performances, I was sure Adam had it in the bag. But after both singers got progressively worse throughout the night, it made me realize that neither of these 2 are the easy winner since “No Boundaries” made them suck equally. Kara’s song is the worst Idol single ever created, especially since it wasn’t crafted for either of the final 2. So what did I think of tonight? And will anyone care who wins tomorrow?
Final 2 -- Kara Sucks and Randy is a Big-Fat Moron, but you already knew that.
So here we are, the Penultimate episode of Idol Season 8, and the last competition episode. Tonight gave us still more proof that Kris Allen (who?) is a gamer. He went head to head with Adam Glambert and in my humble opinion, he came out on top. Lambert brought his usual professionalism to the show so there really weren't any surprises. Of course this being American Idol, we were punished with 5 mid-tempo ballads including the Worst Song I've Heard Since Last Year's Idol Winning Song.
Final 3: Gokey Goes Down!
How the mighty have fallen. Oh, Idol you fickle bitch. You anointed Gokey the chosen one, raising him up to the heavens and then WHAM! Back to Milwaukee, Four-Eyes.
Our VFTW Pick is gone, only to make us laugh with derision as he gets the inglorious boot. So our Final Two is Adam Glambert-Our-Very-Next-American-Idol-Because-Simon-Said-So versus Kris Allen (who?)
Well, let's get to our Post-Game Analysis -- Random Thoughts Style.
-------------------
-- Paula once again shows her professionalism by showing up 7 minutes late to her own show. Basically her one job on the Results Night is to show up and sit down and even that is an iffy process.
Final 3: Kara's An Idiot and Simon Hates Her.
Welcome to the Final Three Week. I can't say that I was all that excited for the "Judges pick a crappy song, Idols pick an even crappier song" themed night. And after experiencing it, I am even less excited to suffer through the 18 hours of the Idol Final next week. Since the judges all but anointed Adam the champion this week any thrills for the Finals have been killed. I'll still watch, hoping for a Tatiana/Normund duet... and some VFTW moments when the Idols get out-sung by their older, more famous and more desperate duet-partners. Simon practically begged us to vote for Adam. But then again, the Idol winners have been a foregone conclusion ever since Clay Aiken nearly uprooted Ruben as the people's champion, no small feat uprooting the Velvet Teddy Bear after inertia sets in.
Top 3 - Dave Hears The Good News and Spreads the Gospel of Gokey
It’s Idol’s 300th episode. Another episode to run longer than an hour even though we’re only watching 6 fucking minute-and-thirty-second performances. That’s 9 minutes. How can you possibly not fit this in an hour? It doesn’t matter though. Because I found Jesus tonight while watching 6 bad performances. And he has a message of good news for the devoted Worsters: Danny Gokey will stay. How do I know? Jesus has some good news for you coming up in a bit. So keep the faith and read on.
Final Four: Post Game Analysis
Final Four: Post Game Analysis
In true Idol suspense-killing fashion, as soon as Kris is told he's the first Final Three-er safe, the countdown to Allison's booting was a foregone conclusion.
Even bringing back Mr. "Shocking Idol Elimination" Chris Daughtry to tease an early booting for Adam went for naught as the presumed front-runner Lambert was sent into the Final 3 soon after Kris Allen (Who?) Really the only rationalization for Allison staying was that the "Producers don't want three guys in the Finals." Nope. Clearly they don't care.
Other than that it was a long uneventful show, so I'll power through in Random Thoughts Fashion:
--------------------
Final Four: I Wanna Rock!
Rock Night on Idol was surprisingly painless. I was expecting a giant stink-bomb, but aside from Gokey rewarding our VFTW voting block by taking a dump on the stage musically and physically it was a well-sung night. Also, Idol duets was a long-time coming (and something I thought was a good idea several years ago.) It definitely separates the men from the children, and both songs were well sung, if not really choice Duet Songs, but more on that later.
HOWDY CLASS,
Tonight, as you may have noticed, is the Season Finale of Idol 8. Yay. Tonight's finale promises to have epically bad singing, embarrassing celebrity duets and Nourmund Gentle and Tatiana both perform. And for a change the Idol Finale is Terrible-Funny instead of just Terrible-Terrible. And the results are a pleasant, genuine surprise. VFTW!!!
------------
You'd think by the Finals the Professional Idol Tech crew would have their shit together. But nope, 6 minutes in and we have our first technical glitch as Kris' mic isn't turned on when he tries to answer Seacrest's stupid question. How hard is it to turn on a mic people? Nice work, bosy.