David Cook
David Cook Performs in a Green Spandex Suit
Rest Assured, David Cook and David Archuleta Do Not Have Swine Flu
No idea why this is news... but when Gaspy and Big Head when to the Phillipines to perform, they were stopped by local officials to check for Swine Flu. The two called their lawyers and didn't want to be tested, but eventually submitted once they found out they could be arrested for refusing. No word on why these 2 were tested, yet the former Idol who looks most like a pig, Carly Smithson, has not yet been quarantined.
David Cook's Older Brother Adam Died This Morning
According to E! Online, David Cook's older brother Adam lost his battle with brain cancer and died early this morning. David announced the sad news at the Race for Hope this morning, a marathon to help benefit research for brain cancer. David's team raised over $99,000 for brain cancer research, which is an amazing accomplishment. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Cook family and we applaud David for his charity work to help future brain cancer patients like his brother.
David Cook Calls Out His Idiot, Obsessive Fans
The crazier fans of David Cook, who make videos like the one above we found on Idletard (that's just ridiculous. Pull back the layers of fat and get laid, ladies), have finally pushed David to the point where he feels the need to call them out. David posted in a blog:
"I have to address some behavior that has become disturbing. We pride ourselves on being accessible to you as fans, but in contrast, we do enjoy what little privacy we can muster. To that end, the efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn. This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you.
I hope this doesn't come off as harsh. I merely want to nip this in the bud so we can continue to have a great experience with all of you at the shows we have coming up. Take care and see you at the next show."
In other words: You crazy 40 year old women who are stalking David... get a fucking life and behave like adults, you sick fucks. Thanks to topidol for the tip.
David Cook Falls for "Teacher"
Don't bother watching this performance of David Cook singing "Hot for Teacher". Just skip to 2:05 where he slips and falls for your daily comedy. You're welcome.
Kimberly Caldwell Already Out on the Town Whoring it Up
Star Magazine reports that Kimberly Caldwell was all over a tall bald guy named Ryan on December 29 at LA hotspot ONE Sunset. Apparently they were "grinding on the dance floor. They started playfully kissing, but that quickly led to long lip locks until they were full-on making out." This leads us to believe our report that she and Water Head broke up just before Christmas is true. The real question though is why any news outlet is reporting about her (our apologies for carrying it further). Do people even recognize her?
Looks Like David Cook and Kimberly Caldwell Broke Up
We received a tip that David Cook and Kimberly Caldwell broke up shortly before Christmas. Our guess? It's probably true. And is anyone surprised? She was clearly using him to get her name back out in the media. Or maybe he was using her to get the frauen to leave him alone. Either way, a collective, "No one cares" sigh will probably be heard round the world... except by Cook's Cougars who will probably be wetting their oversized granny panties this very moment. Disgusting.
David Cook's Album Debuts OK, Archuleta's Falls Like a Rock
This week David Cook's album debuts at #3 on the Billboard Hot 200, which is actually pretty decent being that he came out on the same day as Beyonce and crap on a stick Nickelback. Cook sold 280,000 albums in the first week. It's not an amazing number, but it's more than Jorbacca sold in her first week. It's also better than David Archuleta's doing. Gaspy's album tumbles down the charts to #11, losing about 64% of last week's sales. Gaspy's fans can't even keep him in the top 10 for 2 weeks. How sad. Watch the album tumble much lower next week. We don't expect Cook's to stay high either unless "Light On" actually takes off (it isn't looking good unless the payola kicks in this week).
OK, that was pretty funny. David's got a sense of humor and we like that.